November 1, 2012 
Did you know that…
….every puppy comes with a voucher entitling the proud new owner to a minimum of two weeks in Purgatory! This voucher cannot be redeemed for alternative goods or services nor is it transferable. This is a bit of a bugger.
I am slowly recovering from a nightmare of a fortnight. Firstly, there was the seemingly endless mopping up of puppy wee as young Mabel endeavoured to discover the correct location of the toilet. It took some time for her to discover that facilities had been provided outdoors for this purpose, although I expect she would claim that her less than bright owners should have thought about leaving the odd door open now and again. As if that wasn’t bad enough the best part of most nights were spent dozing on the sofa as a consequence of the howling, from the depths of the puppy crate, increasing steadily in volume from midnight onwards.
To reduce the sense of despair associated with the initial stages of puppy training you should start from the premise that puppies are clever…and owners are thick. For example it took me two weeks to understand that Mabel didn’t necessarily want to be up most of the night…she just wanted to have a poo and get back into her crate and go back to sleep. In fact if I had been quicker on the uptake, and understood that I was required to escort her outdoors at 11.30pm, I would then have been spared all the nocturnal shenanigans and be permitted to sleep until at least 7am. Puppies must be in constant awe of the incredible stupidity displayed by their owners.
Not only are they far cleverer than their owners they grow at a phenomenal rate. Mabel put on 2 kg in 2 weeks! You may be interested to know that she consumed a 4kg bag of dog food in the same period. Simple arithmetic tells us that puppies poo at a rate of 1kg/week. Bet you didn’t know that!
Mabel finds a likely subject on which to dump all that puppy poo!
Both the pup and I have been confined to barracks for the past two and a half weeks. She had her final parvovirus injection on Monday which means that come Monday next we will be able to go out for walks…at last! Which brings us to a wee problem we need to sort out and can only do so during a visit to the nearest wood.
One disturbing characteristic demonstrated by our Mabel is her peculiar high pitched growl. Now, I’m not saying the breeder has been trying to put one over on us but, the last time I heard this sound it was coming from the mouth of a black bear cub. I accept that, at this stage of development, you could be forgiven for mixing up the two however once we can escape the confines of the house on Monday it will be straight to the nearest tree for young Mabel and me. If, when pushed against the trunk she falls…then she’s a Labrador, if she sticks…then she’s a bear. There…that should clear up that particular conundrum!
…and the winner is!
Author Info
“Puppies must be in constant awe of the incredible stupidity displayed by their owners.” I quite agree.
Why have you used the plural?
I’m not entirely sure whether you’re merely trying to insult me or to keep in J’s good books for your next visit.
I eventually settled on both.
I have therefore explained to Mabel the first of her duties that involve the use of teeth. Don’t take too long to visit, Mabel is quite keen to test those little needles of hers.
Not to worry…smart work with whip and chair and she’ll soon have you trained.
I must say that photograph of Mabel on the hearth indicates a strong personality…that expression! You may be right about the bear…
I am happy to confirm that great progress in my training has been made without the use of whip or chair. J is most impressed that I now sit and wait until I’m told to begin before eating my food!
She does have some very “insistent”, no nonsense, expressions. She’s a bit more vocal than Maisie was. I reckon this one’s going to be trouble.
Well, she still looks cute.
Not my normal description of the wee beast when she wakes up at 4am!
Aaawww! She can wink already! If she’s vocal, maybe she’ll turn into a singer like Tilly!
At her most vocal when getting her tummy rubbed – does a great bear cub impersonation.
. Fairly quiet other than that though sometimes will stare at you and bark if she wants you to come play. Is learning to cry at her food cupboard – which does not bode well.
Now you have got used to early rises and sleepless nights again Ken you might as well adopt a brace of babies to play with Mabel.Then she’ll not miss you if you keel over first
Aaaaaarrrrrrgggghhhhh!
Nice looking dug
Bet you wouldn’t say that at 4am!
No wonder she’s keeping you up all night she is having nightmares watching Jimmy Savile!! BTW she is gorgeous..
I’m guessing it’s you Mandy…if not my apologies to whoever this might be
.
Didn’t realise I’d snapped JS on screen until I put the photos onto the computer. Handy to have accidentally captured a topical subject.
She is a little girl, apparently he likes little girls :O…my bad, yep it’s me
Oh just signed up for your blog so hoping to see lots more photos of Mabel.
BTW how did she get her name?
Welcome aboard Mandy
I think there just might be a few photos of the little beast appearing on the blog.
We started with names beginning with M (we like M names) and after a 3 way debate between myself, J and our daughter (The Bleating Sheep) we came up with Mabel. Labs are old fashioned creatures and so need old fashioned names.
And a new era begins. Is it acceptable to get broody over the sight of a cute puppy. How can you not love that little face. Oh I know, by cleaning up puddles of wee at all hours of the day, I remember that now
Oh how I could add to that list! Puddles of wee…only the beginning!